


Birthday

by andrastes_grace



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 19:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7945912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrastes_grace/pseuds/andrastes_grace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There had been no life changing revelations, no sudden epiphany, no voice from the heavens to tell him how to live his life.  </p>
<p>Roy Mustang had turned thirty and nothing changed.</p>
<p>(Set in manga/brotherhood continuity, but could easily be read as 03.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday

There had been no life changing revelations, no sudden epiphany, no voice from the heavens to tell him how to live his life.  Roy Mustang had turned thirty and nothing changed.  He’d woken up, put on his uniform and gone to work.  Now he was sitting at desk, staring at his paperwork, hoping it would do itself and, if it wouldn’t, wondering if he could get away with setting it on fire.

Nothing had changed.

The phone rang.

_“Yo Roy!  I heard that you’re another year older!  You any closer to finding yourself a wife?”_

_“Hughes, stop using this line for personal calls.”_

_“This isn’t personal.  This is a matter of vital important.”_

_“I can tell you what you can do with your matter of vital importance.”_

_“If you’d just hurry up and find a wife I wouldn’t need to ask.  Maybe you’ll find a nice girl tonight.  Usual time, Roy?”_

Roy sighed and picked up the phone.

“Mustang”

“Sir, there’s an outside line for you.”

“Put them through.”

“Hey bastard.”

“Fullmetal.  What do you want?  … No.  That’s not allowed.  … Not even if you have a receipt.  … Put it back the way you found it and apologise.  … I’m not mobilising troops, Fullmetal!  … Return the money, that’s an order!”

He slammed the phone down.

_Forget finding a wife, Hughes.  Sometimes I feel like I already have a kid._

Roy rested his chin on his hands and stared at his paperwork some more.  It stared back.  Eventually he picked up a pen and turned it round and round in his hands.

The door opened.  There were a few shocked gasps from the men in the room.  Roy looked up to find Hawkeye standing in front of his desk.   And then he found himself very careful to keep looking up, to keep his eyes focused completely on the Lieutenant’s face and the impeccable salute she was giving.

“I apologise for my lateness this morning, Colonel.”

“That’s - that’s fine Lieutenant.” _Theoretically, of course, I know she has legs, even if they are hidden somewhere under the baggy and practical military issue trousers._

“Is there something you want from me, sir?”

“N-no.  Just, get to work.  Don’t - don’t be late again.”

“Sir.”

It just so happened that this morning she wasn’t wearing the military issues trousers.  She wasn’t even wearing the standard length military issue skirt often worn by the uniformed female clerks.

“Lieutenant?”

“Yes sir?”

“Your… uniform?”

“Sir?” Hawkeye’s voice and face could not have been more innocent.

“Never mind.”

He didn’t know where she’d got it from, he didn’t want to know.  But she was wearing an exceedingly tiny miniskirt.

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

 “Happy birthday.  And do your paperwork.”

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is quite old and written a long time before I got fed up with how out of context people took that one damn 4-koma joke.


End file.
